Whether problem is our own or of others' related to us in one or other way, the common behavior seen is either self pity or apathy. In case of our own problems we just complain, whine, whimper, crib or blame. In case of others' problem we stand on the sidelines just watching or talking in apathy. There are always self inflicted barriers to problem solving and no concern is shown to own, get involved and participate in solutioning process. These barriers generally are: A "Yes, but'' attitude either to delay the solution or to avoid problem or ownership; wait and do nothing or others will tell me what to do; one can't blame me; It's because of circumstances or destiny or fate; quit or run away; this is so difficult or impossible to do.;I have no clue; I should always ask for help from others; it's not my problem and should not do anything; I'll simply pass the problem to someone else; intellectual defensiveness, positional rigidity or stubbornness closed to new ideas; fear of being perceived as being incompetent; fear of one's ideas being unaccepted; inability to be objective about the problem; fear of being wrong; fear of coming out of comfort zone thinking more losses and disturbance could be faced than benefits from solution; inability to be creative, imaginative or "off the wall'' in developing alternative solutions; being inflexible or too serious to have fun while problem solving; being so chronically immersed or emotionally "stuck'' in problems that no feelings or emotions can be elicited; believing that one's emotions and feelings about a problem are "wrong'' and should be discounted in problem solving; rigidity or resentment about having to solve the problem; blaming others for causing the problem; no desire to own up to the problem; believing that problems are the concerns of others not me, therefore, why waste my time in trying to solving them; mental and/or physical fatigue from trying to cope with problems and finding no fruitful solutions; burnout; feeling so stressed, anxious or tense in the face of a problem that your body systems shut down; getting so angry about the problem that all energy and attention is drawn to the anger rather than to the problem; feeling sorry for oneself so much that the "self-pity'' overwhelms and obstructs all creative thinking on the matter; getting so down or depressed about the problem that it is impossible to come up long enough to deal with the problem; denial that the problem exists; bargaining in dealing with the problem e.g., agreeing to perform certain steps only as long as the solution to the problem benefits you. The obvious point is that no concerned efforts are contributed to own, get involved and participate in solving the problems. What could be a greater pity than that in case of your own problems a resigning, complaining or blaming attitude is shown which does nothing but invite more troubles, losses and pains.
The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects. The way we see the problem is the problem. Most people spend more time and energy going around problems or just waiting, watching or talking than in trying to solve them. You won't find a solution by saying there is no problem. Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything. Nothing can come of nothing and the shortest answer is do something about problem. If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it. Have you got a problem? Do what you can where you are with what you've got. In any situation, ask yourself: What strengths do I possess that can contribute towards solving the problem. If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem, no problem is too big to run away from and the best way to escape from a problem is to own and solve it. What all is needed that one should stay calm, go through all the materials he/she has carefully, and think about every possible cause and solution, and experiment them. One should immediately own the problem and be responsible for finding the solution if not on his/her own then in a cooperative and collaborative manner by getting actively involved and contributing as much as one can. If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact, not to be solved, but to be coped with over time. When one's own problems are unsolvable and all best efforts frustrated, it is lifesaving to listen to other people's problems. When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better. You must get involved to have an impact. No one is impressed with the won-lost record of the referee.
The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects. The way we see the problem is the problem. Most people spend more time and energy going around problems or just waiting, watching or talking than in trying to solve them. You won't find a solution by saying there is no problem. Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything. Nothing can come of nothing and the shortest answer is do something about problem. If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it. Have you got a problem? Do what you can where you are with what you've got. In any situation, ask yourself: What strengths do I possess that can contribute towards solving the problem. If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem, no problem is too big to run away from and the best way to escape from a problem is to own and solve it. What all is needed that one should stay calm, go through all the materials he/she has carefully, and think about every possible cause and solution, and experiment them. One should immediately own the problem and be responsible for finding the solution if not on his/her own then in a cooperative and collaborative manner by getting actively involved and contributing as much as one can. If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact, not to be solved, but to be coped with over time. When one's own problems are unsolvable and all best efforts frustrated, it is lifesaving to listen to other people's problems. When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better. You must get involved to have an impact. No one is impressed with the won-lost record of the referee.
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